Learning to drive: theory test

Kelly Gorman, Northern Ireland, profoundly deaf since birth and sign language user

I took my theory test in July 2014 and passed the first time easily unlike my driving test! Everyone learn at different pace but for me I found it easy I was more annoyed about the five weeks wait to take the theory test. I used CD-ROM ( Unsure if it’s the right word! ) I studied for a bit nightly for around a week then swotted up again just before my theory test.

I booked my theory test on-line unlike my driving test which i had to book via phone. I will explain in my next few posts. My test was taken in the city, I wasn't nervous at all but didn't get my hopes up knowing a lot of people have failed their theory test. I hoped for the best! I didn't tell anyone about my theory test so I went on my own.

I had to tell someone on the ground floor my name then my name was ticked off the list and I went upstairs for the reception. Once I signed in the reception, they asked me if I had anything in my pockets etc to make sure I wasn't cheating. Felt like I was in school! Haha

Then I was leaded to a private room, whoo, after confirming my name again. One of the female staff asked me if I wanted to use headphones etc I told her I didn't need it I would just rely on the screen to see everything. Then she left and I started my test. Finished early so I left my room and got told to go to the reception for the results. I tried to read the reception staff's faces to see if I have failed or passed but they didn't give anything away until I read my results in a letter they gave me.

I soon smiled when I saw I passed! Then the reception staff started to smile and I then left the building happy knowing I got it out of the way.

But the real challenge was after that, finding someone who would take me on. I waited a while to begin my driving lessons after passing my theory test as I was away for a bit.

In all, for my theory test, the process was great. It was easy booking it online and the staff were very nice. No interpreter were used as I didn't ask for one knowing I could cope.

2014, a big year!

I can say 2014 is one of unforgettable years!

2014 was both good and bad year but to be honest, it was a big year for me too. All these few simple things that have happened but built up to be a big year for me. So when I look back on 2014 I still can't believe what has had happened.

In January, I made one of my dreams to come true and that was going to Thailand! I knew going to Thailand would be a challenge as the country is so different from other countries I've been to. Different language and culture but I loved every minute of it! The flights were so long but nothing compared to Australia and New Zealand flights! The heat were mad but most of the time I coped, thankfully!

Whilst in Thailand, I got my belly pierced! I did want it done but at that time I was slightly tipsy and had it done before 12am haha! Life is too short, I find myself up for anything when on my travels, more than I do when I am home! I like to be out of comfort zone when on my travels. It's fun!

Due to me having a rare skin condition I've always thought I couldn't have tattoos. I even asked many specialists about possible tattoos and they all advised me to not to have tattoos. Of course, typical of me I didn't listen to them. I went ahead and got once more in February. I'm pleased to say nothing has happened to my tattoos. Now I've got 3 tattoos in total - want more but I'm saving up for a lot of things at the moment, boring I know! :)

In March, I got my ears pierced! Not normal lobe ones but triple forward helix piercings! It was quite sore for me as my ear is very sensitive and I knew it would take a while to heal. It did take a long time to heal as I keep getting my curls caught in my piercings which wasn't so fun! In the end I had to go back to change the bars to rings and let it heal for a bit before changing back to bars. Now I still have the bars in my ear all healed which I thought would never happen :) Happy days!

In May, I had my eyebrows done because I have alopecia. Getting it done was a bit sore but then I soon got used to it. And soon after getting it done I had a top up and enjoyed the rest of the year having a side fringe instead of a full fridge to hide my eyebrows or the lack of my eyebrows :)

In June, I started studying for my driving theory test after finding out in 2013 that I was allowed to drive, happy days! I didn't like the fact that I had to wait 5 weeks for my theory test. The waiting times are so silly. I went online to book the test but was horrified to find the times were rubbish so I had to wait even longer and finally booked my test for 31st July. Glad to say I've passed it first time around and started looking for driving instructors so I could start driving lessons in late 2014 after my travels.

I went to Australia in 2013 and loved it so much that I told myself that I would return there again one day. I did in September 2014 but went to Melbourne and stayed there for a week. I loved it there, I sure did make the most of my stay there which included meeting a friend and went on Neighbours tour and many more. I loved my stay in Melbourne, I am hoping to return there again one day.

After Melbourne, I went to New Zealand and travelled all over North & South Island with Kiwi Experience. I am glad I've experienced NZ, it is truly beautiful! Met so many awesome people. Took part in the Nevis Swing in Queenstown, the biggest swing in the world! By now, you should know I love extreme sports!

After recovering from New Zealand (Jet lag!) I contacted few driving instructors and started my driving lessons in November. I had two driving instructors because the first one didn't really work out so I got in touch with second driving instructor. Met up to discuss communication needs and more. Got on with him so the lessons were booked. Since then I never looked back and carried on with him. Confident with driving and look forward to having a wee car to do errands and maybe go on lovely peaceful drives! Looking forward to the day when I book my driving test and getting a car! :)

Many plans for 2015 and 2016, hope it will be good for all of my family, friends and me! :)

Being so rare....

I took part in Ichthyosis Awareness Month (IAM), posted IAM selfie and shared my story of living with K.I.D Syndrome. I learnt a lot and I'm glad I took part. It has made me think about my life and how I felt about living with ichthyosis. Now I've joined some groups on Facebook and read people's blogs. I know I am not the only one with ichthyosis and have similar experiences with other people who have ichthyosis.

IAM: It made me wanting to raise more awareness so there will be less bullying in the future, and no people will feel insecure, especially in their teens or starting out with dating etc. Sometime I talk about my life with K.I.D Syndrome in the hope of helping people. People often turn to me for a chat or advice because apparently I'm easy to talk to so I want to be the person people, with ichthyosis, turn to. I have ichthyosis so I could help out a bit. Maybe in the future I will do more to help people with K.I.D Syndrome and/or with ichthyosis but for now I'm doing my usual charity work with deaf and hearing children.

Now it has been 4 months since IAM, I had been thinking a lot and questioning myself a lot too. Looking back, I don't think I had ever accepted that I have K.I.D Syndrome, maybe because I did want to be 'normal' yet I also wanted to be different. Over the years, I've found my skin were getting more better and now I'm more accepting of my syndrome.

Years ago, I used to think it was so much hard work living with the syndrome but now it got much easier. I do have bad days when I get so fed up because I have to go to hospitals for my review appointments and going to the chemists for my prescriptions. Making sure I have enough prescriptions for travelling. Hated living with the syndrome when I learnt I wasn't allowed to drive due to my eyes. Thankfully I am now allowed to drive and currently looking into driving lessons.

Disliked the deafness part of K.I.D Syndrome because again, it meant ENT appointments. Also we don't know why my body rejected cochlear implant. Maybe it was due to the syndrome or something else. Currently I am going to my appointments to talk about it. Sometime I do wish I can hear and talk like hearing people. It just mean easy life. That is how I feel on bad days.

It made me think about how I behave when dating and in relationships. Living with the syndrome do affect my behaviour because I do worry about waking up and not having the chance to put my cream on before he wake up etc. Or him holding my hands when my hands are dry. Or even when my eyes are watering I get 'are you okay?' because it do look like I'm crying when I am not, maybe it's because my eyes are too sore or dry. Feeling embarrassed when I lip-read him wrong etc. Worrying about my cream getting on him leaving him greasy. Didn't feel feminine because of alopecia. Being bullied in the past did affect me.

Looking back, it was always me pushing people away in fear of them thinking I'm too much hassles. Thankfully I've been proved wrong many times over the years! More older and wiser now!!

I do love being rare because I like to stand out and be unique. But there are cons of being rare, not many doctors know about K.I.D Syndrome much to my annoyance. Not many people have the syndrome, so I can't talk about the syndrome and to share experiences. There's not much knowledge about the syndrome.

What to do about unexplained rashes I get now and then, is it related to the syndrome? Or it's just eczema - have been diagnosed with it but doubt it really. What can I do about it, but to try to have a good diet and exercise often. Going to the doctors to get steroid cream or medication for the itching and having to explain about K.I.D Syndrome to someone new if I don't see my regular doctor. Wondering whenever my skin is playing up, is it due to tattoos and piercings or what.

Now and then, I do think am I too personal, over sharing or what? But then some days I don't care if I share too much because it might have helped ONE person out there knowing they are not the only ones with K.I.D Syndrome / ichthyosis / eczema or whatever I have experienced in my life. I'm grateful for the internet because social media and blogs have helped me a lots and got me where I am now - bad ass lady!!!

Every year I look at my blogs & my life and realise that I have been through too much shit in my life yet I'm still here loving life, most of the time! I'm only human I do have bad days! My love of extreme sports and travelling has grown a lot. Some people think I'm annoyingly positive and happy. I thrive on challenges that come along in my life. I choose to look at the bright side and brush off annoyances rather than get sucked into the negatives.

Sure my life could be better and on bad days I feel like I'm a failure because I could have done more in my life but being me, I rather focus on the positives.

I have Ichthyosis but I don't care, I'm vain  Red face & red hair too, I don't care if it clash  Years ago people comment on my skin but now people comment on my hair. On way to work earlier, a stranger stopped me to tell me she loved my curly hair. Life is good  #ichthyosisawarenessmonth

Feeling so unsettled....

Lately I've been feeling so unsettled and it took a while to work out why. On my rides to the local park, I like to stop somewhere there to sit and think.

Eventually I knew why but didn't know what to do. Sometime I wish my life is so simple and easy so I don't have to make hard decisions. Sometime it's hard to make decisions because I don't know whether to listen to my head or my heart..... Be sensible or spontaneous.

I know my health is part of my reasons why I'm unable to make decisions easily. Also I sometime find it hard to make decisions because I am not always in control of my life.

What I would love to do is to drop everything and just leave, travel for years but I can't do that for now. I have to attend hospitals. Maybe you think that is excuses, a part of me think it's just excuses but it is not that simple. I never know when I need to rest or need help with my health. I KNOW if I've perfect health then it would be easy, I would just drop everything and go.

I feel unsettled and don't have control over my life basically because hospitals control my life, keep me waiting in waiting rooms for ages leaving me do everything later than everyone such as travelling. I wanted to go to travelling when I was more younger than now. So I'm playing catch ups with my life and I don't like that really. I am not at where I wanted to be at my age. And hospitals taking ages to make appointments such as pain management - I don't even have regular appointments, I only had two so far - so I feel I can't make plans for my future if I don't have pain management appointments basically how the heck am I supposed to carry on with my life if I don't have suitable medication / pain management. But that's life and I am trying to carry on with my life.

As some of you know I've been wearing my hearing aid since last year but that has bought something new to me. I realised I was missing wearing cochlear implant - even though I didn't have it for long - and it got me thinking for ages about it. I was thinking where would I be now if my body didn't reject it. Or what would have happen if I had the go ahead to have another cochlear implant. It's not easy to make the decision based on my medical history and experiences in the past, so a referral to the implant centre is needed to talk about what happened in the past and what could happen if I had another one.

I don't always like routines and do get the itch to do something out of the blue or something crazy. Another reason why I can't make decisions easily. I can be very annoying. But then I think having routines is easy if I want to feel settled in my life!

I know if/when I am done with my travelling, I will want to commit to a new job with longer contract, and learn to drive because then I will be able to commit to stay in a place for a while. Probably my home-town. Settle & commit in a relationship. Make my home more homely, wherever that is!

I am only 26 - I never feel that, always older - yet some people are surprised to hear I am not in a committed relationship and don't have children. I don't even want kids but prepared to accept it that I might change my minds in the future though. I even don't want to marry but again might change my mind in the future haha. Having fun dating and I know it's pointless to commit to a relationship when I don't even know what's happening in my life and don't know what I want to do :) That is called being sensible :)

Sometime I wish I wasn't sensible and mature for my age.

So how do the heck do people make decisions?! I never will understand how I have made it so far in my life :) I hate the 'what ifs' but I do often think about it, annoying I know.

Could someone invent a time machine so I could jump in the past and be a child so I could be care free for a bit. But then I don't want to go back in the past because I am more stronger now.

As my life changes all the time, I might be saying different things in few months or few years, who know! :)

Bye for now :)

The start of a new year...

So, 2014 is here and it's already February. Slow down!! :) 

It's true what they say, time flies so fast when you are having so much fun!

As usual, there's good and bad things in my life. 

I was slowly getting on with my life after the death of my beautiful strong Granny Gorman back in October 13 when I was in Australia. After I got told about her death, when I got home, I found it so hard to carry on with my life after that. I felt so guilty about being so happy and having fun in Australia as I was posting a lot of photos on my Facebook and updated my statues daily about my experiences. No one said anything on Facebook or contacted me because they wanted me to have fun as it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. A part of me understood why but I still wanted to know. I felt bad about not saying goodbye as I missed her funeral so I hope she understood. Love her so much and I will never forget our trips to Blackpool, the highlight of my childhood.

So, in late November & early December I started booking for my another dream trip to Thailand.

Planned a surprise meal and party for my mum's 50th in January, with a lot of help! A great night!

Flew to Thailand in middle of January after my mum's 50th birthday and kept checking in with my mum to see if everything were okay. Despite that, I had a great time and gained many awesome experiences I will never have in UK - more details coming up in my travel blog.

But during my trip, there were a lot of long travelling - worth it! During the long travelling my friends had music & books. Watching them listening to music on long journeys has made me sad because I've missed listening to music using my hearing aid and iPhone. Been unable to hear out of my hearing aid since Christmas Eve. Few appointments coming up about my hearing aid. Oh how much my life has changed, I used to be happier with just feeling the beats of music but not now, I NEED to be able to hear and feel the music!

Brilliant 3 weeks in Thailand but wasn't happy about coming home. I never do when I go travelling! But my body was knackered and wanted to come home. One day in the last week I woke up unable to walk. I was horrified and didn't know why. Walking was so painful, so I decided to stay longer at the resort in Koh Phangan to rest. It didn't really help, I was so mad because I wanted to travel more. I then flew to Bangkok few days before my flights to home. That night, I went out for dinner and drinks with friends. It got more painful to carry on I was sad as I wanted to enjoy partying before going home. 

The next morning I rested a lots before going out for food and markets in the afternoon.

By the time I arrived at Bangkok airport I was struggling to walk, staff there arranged wheelchairs for me and picked good seats for me. I was happy about that!! 

This blogger is addicted to tattoos and piercings so I got my belly button pierced whilst in Thailand and got another tattoo after Thailand!

Now it's 12th February I am home and resting my foot. It's killing me because I want to get back to work, gym and doing my usual things! I will never regret anything I've done though :)

2013, a big year!

I can say 2013 is one of unforgettable years!

2013 was both good and bad year but to be honest, it was a big year for me too. All these few simple things that have happened but built up to be a big year for me. So when I look back on 2013 I still can't believe what has had happened.

Sad thing, is that few deaths has had happened but that is life. No one like bad things happening in their lives but it do. It's reality, sadly. It has been a hard year but we all have to plaster a fake smile on till we smile for the real and carry on with our lives. And too many hospital appointments, feeling so old at the age of 26 years old due to my conditions. Reacting to the drip for pain relief when in hospital and realising that I won't have great painkillers that actually work for a while. Trying out new painkillers and it can be pain in the ass suffering from side effects.

Early March, wee Marley or 'Marley Moo' was born but we didn't know it until April my brother and I decided to buy our mum a wee Shih Tzu puppy, Marley, and found him online. Of course we drove miles, and miles to have a look at Shih Tzu puppies and picked one out. Named him Marley. He was 7 weeks old but now a cheeky 10 months old puppy who love cuddles! He brings many happiness to our lives but also bring a lots of laughs which are needed.

Can't forget me having an interview with Sue Ramsey MLA in April. It was held in Storment, Belfast. I am proud about it because I knew it was useful to raise awareness about the importance of deaf awareness.

In late May till early June, I made one of my dream trips happen and flew to New York. Many goosebumps and unforgettable moments during my New York trip. I ate delicious pizza and got lost many times when taking subways. Not coping with the heatwave in May! Bought lovely colourful clothes and unique presents for family. I then knew I HAD to explore the rest of the world.

Being crazy daredevil, I wanted to do more for charities and if doing crazy things meant raising more monies for charities then I'll do it. So having done a bungee jump for 'Cash for Kids' in 2012 I decided to do an abseil for them again, in July. I'm pleased to have done it and raised monies for them.

Due to me having a rare skin condition I've always thought I couldn't have tattoos. I even asked many specialists about possible tattoos and they all advised me to not to have tattoos. Of course, typical of me I didn't listen to them. I went ahead and got one tattoo in August before my birthday and another one in November when I got back from Australia. I'm pleased to say nothing has happened to my tattoos. It's a shock really, but the problem is that now I am addicted to tattoos!

In September, I took a course in Prepare to Teach level 3 it was a big moment in my life because it got me thinking about a possible fitness career if my health is still okay in the future and the course is useful for me to teach people about fitness if it got that far. I then got excited imagining my future but was careful not to get my hopes up. I then realised I was thinking about my future because for years and years I couldn't plan ahead due to me being in hospital and knowing things will always stop me from achieve my plans.

In October, I made one of my major dreams to come true and that was going to Australia! The flights were so long and sometime the heat were unbearable but man, I will always be grateful for being able to go to Australia. I actually thought it couldn't happen but then started to realised in the last few years that it was possible as I refused to have more operations and could start living my life if I didn't have any more operations for a while. It ended up being a great month, I could cry with happiness that I had a great time and actually have been to Australia. I made few more dreams come true when I was in Australia. It was just few simple small dreams but I made them happen. One of them was to pat a kangaroo! 

Other moments I can't forget are being able to use a hearing aid and actually hear music! Buying ear link specially for my hearing aid so I could listen to music on my iPhone just like other people. And being told that I can go ahead and learn to drive. That was a huge thing for me seeing I've got a rare condition that affects my eyes and was told I am not allowed to drive for years and years then suddenly at the age of 26 years old I got told I am allowed now as my eyes are good at the moment. I don't want to learn to drive now seeing I rather spend my money on travels but hoping my eyes will behave in the future for me to be able to still learn to drive!

Many plans for 2014 and 2015, hope it will be good for all of my family, friends and me! :)

Pain relief.....

Having been diagnosed with osteoarthritis at the age of 21, I think but way long before that I knew I had osteoarthritis but needed an MRI scan to confirm it. I couldn't have it as at that time I had an cochlear implant and I wasn't allowed to have an MRI scan with the cochlear implant. So I had more surgery to remove the implant and eventually got an MRI scan. When it was finally confirmed, it didn't really matter to me because by then I was used to the pain and swelling I get with osteoarthritis and it was a part of my life. I never went to pain relief clinic for a long time and got an appointment many years later which was a shame. 

I should have seen someone to discuss pain relief properly so I could have proper pain relief suiting me and my lifestyle. All these years I took many different painkillers and of course I suffered from side effects which were horrible.

I like to be very active and try to make the most of my life so correct pain relief that suit me is very important. If it has many side effects so it's a big no-no for me! Or has few side effect but include making me feel weird and can't focus on anything then again it's a big no-no for me, but for the moment!

I need to be able to focus and be aware of things happening around me as I work with children and people. I once took a painkiller, not knowing much about the side effects, one morning getting ready to work with children for the weekend and never again, I lost my focus. I felt so ill and couldn't react quickly. I needed to be able to react quickly when working with children, especially with those who have special needs.

I got a job as a youth worker after the diagnose but never told anyone so I couldn't be treated differently but I am sure everyone knew that there were something wrong, they just didn't know what it was. I carried on working for years and I was still coping so I can be very determined about living life to the full! I wanted a 'normal' life in some way, I hate the word of 'normal' because I don't know what is 'normal' but I knew I did want to be 'normal' like everyone who can work. I wanted to work. I've been working since the age of 18 and hope to carry on for a while when I can!

I've been really lucky so far because I can still go to gym, if I was in a wheelchair it would be more difficult, going to gym is deadly important to me. I care about my health and would do anything to avoid feeling depressed or worse about my osteoarthritis and also to avoid amputation if possible! Going to gym or exercising at home/outside are great for bone health.

I am only 26 years old so of course I have another 60+ years to live ( I hope! ) I don't really want to spend the rest of my life in horrible pain. I know osteoarthritis will get worse because it is already getting worse anyway but able to have a life for now. Because I spend a lot of times in hospitals I can't really imagine a life after the age of 30 years old, so I'm hurrying my plans to achieve my dreams of seeing the world and experience great things but there's nothing wrong with that.

I lead my life, my life don't lead me.

Maybe when I get more older or in few years I might be more open to painkillers that has side effects but that would mean stop working with children with special needs because I can't take a risk of losing focus or being spaced out. It's horrible really. 

I don't take painkillers often, to me it usually 'stop' working after a while, so I live in pain daily yet I make crazy plans to live a great life that include travelling on my own. I know I always say life is too short but no one really know unless they are me. No one are like me. I am unique.

Not long ago, I had to be admitted to a hospital as a day patient for pain relief. I never tried it but wanted to and hoped for the best, even though deep down I knew something would happen or that it won't work. I bought my MacBook thinking I could make a start on my travel blog. I didn't even open my bag to get started, I ended up being hooked to a machine for my blood pressure and heart rate to see how I am dealing with a drip ( pain relief ) in my arm. So I couldn't move my arms much, with needles sticking in one arm and another hooked up to a machine. Gawd, how tight it was, having my blood pressure taken very often drove me nuts.

Not surprisingly, as soon as I was hooked up to a drip I started feeling dizzy and they had to stop for a bit then adjusted the dose. Once it started up again, I started feeling dizzy and feeling very nervous. My body sadly reacted to the drip. They had to stop again and lowered the dose. Eventually they had to stop the drip as I couldn't stop reacting to it and if I was on the drip any longer side effects were increasing. I didn't like the ideas of having seizures and more. I was disappointed but kinda knew it would happen. I was also gutted because I knew docs were running out of ideas of how to help me - painkillers wise.

As it didn't work, I wanted to make the most of my life, even more so I booked a trip to Thailand in Jan 2014 because I was already getting tired of my day to day life and knew it would get more harder in 2014+ and that scare me!

They had to let me go home but wanted me to go home with someone and have someone keeping an eye on me. Pfft! I live on my own and didn't want someone to keep an eye on me so of course I told hospital that I would have someone coming around to mines to check on me. As soon as I arrived home, I soon felt so shit and sleepy. Had to keep my feet up on the sofa and I soon fell asleep on the sofa. I was feeling sorry for myself that day because I wanted to be active and have something that work! 

As soon as I woke up, I jumped in a hot bubbly bath which made me feel a little bit better and also afterwards I had a visit from mum and her puppy Marley who I am in love with!! :)