Sunday, 25 March 2012

Body Image....

Random Words Flying Around In My Head About Body Image:   

 Eating Disorders
Touchy Subject
True beauty
Why can't we, some women, accept it when men say we are beautiful when clothed & naked
Don't matter about scars, stretchmarks & cellulite
No need for make up 24/7

I am slim but still got stretchmarks, scars and cellulite. I even get nightmare spots and I can't even use make up on my face to hide spots cos of my skin condition. Thankfully I can still use eye make up if needed when I've red eyes from a lack of sleep!! Rarely I use make up, cos I think we all are an example of true beauty with no make up :) But don't get me wrong! I think make up can be useful!! 


Many people don't know I am usually fighting a battle to gain weight or to keep my weight stable, when most people I know are battling to lose weight.
Terrified of losing weight cos it's not attractive, since I am tall I have to be heavier than 9 stone
Being weird about people watching me eating, accuse me of dieting if they see me eating salad or working out at gym. Scared of that.

Looking in the mirror wishing I've got more curves

 I think it's fab that people celebrate curves!! They are fab! But sometime it do make me feel like people are judging me for being slim and make me think it's not attractive. Most days I am proud that I've got a tiny waist, being tall and slim.

 Some people should think before they speak

Where do some of us get our negative body image from?!
Is it cos of airbrushed mags?
Or people commenting?

When guys say words like beautiful, do we believe them? Not usually, but we still nod and say thanks.
I am not saying everyone are like that but most of them, people I know, are polite and say thank you for the lovely comments whilst not believing them.

I may be tall, slim and have lovely long hair. May have dark eyes that shows I am a deep person. Lovely white teeth. It don't always mean I think I am gorgeous deep down.

Most days, I think fuck people I'll wear colourful clothes or show off my body cos most days I am confident, and am full of myself. No care in the world what people think of me. Yet I don't think I am perfect I am not always confident when being intimate with guys thinking they want a better body. But we should accept they are already with us so they don't need a perfect version of us.

Us women always want something we can't have such as bigger or smaller boobs, bums and flatter tummy or blah etc. Why can't we be truly acceptable of ourselves without wanting to changing ourselves?

What is perfect body image? Us accepting our bodies & feeling sexy about our bodies, yeah baby!

Can we stand in front of the mirror naked and say to ourselves we look good!
There's always stories behind each person & picture
No judgement
Be proud of our bodies and what they've been through


Monday, 12 March 2012


What do happiness mean to me?

Many simple things really:
People saying good things about me
Seeing special kids having fun
Being happy & smiley
Free thinking time
Doing what I want
Being with friends
Facing fears
Being hyper
Lovely nails
Having fun
Curly hair
Basically life is amazing

Just other few things that can make me happy:
Me in pain doing things cos it's worth it, way better than being pain free doing nothing at home
Lovely people letting me doing things knowing I've health issues but don't ask me what is wrong with me, respecting me. Results in me respecting them.
Seeing things around me & they mean something to me, more than before
 I believe in life more than before.
No matter how much pain I can be in, I'll do whatever I want, not always though, because I deserve a life, just like these special kids with complex needs who are involved with NDCS.
Will not regret whatever made me happy :)

Sometime it can be hard, but worth it in the end doing what you want... Random times I stop and think to myself, quite often I smile, I am still here happy cos I am doing what I want. Not many people can do that. If I want a life, I must face my fears and move on to the next step knowing at the end there's an amazing prize - more happiness for me!! It can also mean people closest to me can be happy too, seeing me happy! And knows that I am happier than ever. Happiness is so important to me.
Smiling is infectious......

Don't be scared of moving into the next step in your life, it will be worth it at the end

I truly believe in this quote: Never regrets anything that made you smile :)
I am naturally funny, of course! But seriously, I love seeing people laughing when I do or say something. It was never my aim to make them laugh, I just say whatever I want and I naturally have fantastic body language of course.

Finally, just a bit of final words!
Was involved in the big 60 weekend ( NDCS ) on 9-11th March.
Naturally, I got thinking at the end of the day after spending all weekend in Manchester with amazing mentors, staff and volunteers. Basically I just thought WOW! It made an impact on me big time, seeing these special kids having fun, no care in the world no matter what they had: complex needs and/or deafness etc. I've seen shy kids it made me sad in some way cos I think these kids deserve a fanstatic life so I am proud of all of us and NDCS breaking barriers for them! I am looking forward to increase my experience with NDCS and working for them. Very rewarding and huge respect to those who are still with NDCS for years!!
Was very worn out & in pain when I came home and looked forward to a hot bath and a long sleep that is more than 4 hours of broken sleep at the weekend!! :) But WILL never regret it cos I know I will have good sleep and recover soon. I enjoyed it very much! Byeeeee for now!! :)